I come from a Lebanese Druze family and although not raised according to this religion I was taught that I was a Druze and that the only thing I needed to know was that I believed in God and that God loved me.  That in itself was a blessing, to not be born to a family of religious people.

I lived in a Muslim country in the Gulf area until I was 17 and then moved to Lebanon to go to College. The funny thing was that I always believed that I had a personal relationship with God. I loved him and believed in him but I was arrogant about my faith in him I believed that I knew the way and that all people needed to do was move away from religion, religion that had torn my country apart, and believe in God that was all it was that easy. 

My last year in college my whole world fell apart and all of a sudden God was no longer a focus in my life or a source of comfort or reliance.  I was frustrated and would call to him but would get no answer. 

An important aspect in my life that I have yet to mention was that I have an aunt who had come to Christ many years before and had dedicated her life to God's work as a missionary (pretty strange for a Druze girl from Chouifat, Lebanon).  From my interaction with her and constantly hearing about Christ I began to hunger for what she had.  I wanted the peace and the Joy I saw in her but I was afraid...afraid that God wouldn't want me because I was a sinner and that this was a huge step to take I would be going against my parents who I love dearly. 

But God wanted me despite all that and eventually after I thought there was no way my despair could get any worse, I moved to the States (trying to get into a PhD program) and discovered absolute loneliness and I realized that I had to take a stand to bring God back into to my life  but this time in a permanent way to insure I never left him again as I had done before.  So on January 7 1999, my aunt and me knelt and prayed and I asked Jesus to come into my heart and to cleanse me...and he did and he's still there 3 years later and he'll never leave.

A huge burden still on my heart is that I haven't shared my faith with my parents, but both my sister and brother know and they believed that what I believe in is the truth but they are not ready to take that step.  All I can say to them and to you out there is that God is faithful and once you decide to accept him into your heart he will never leave you or forsake you...life with him is worth all the treasures of the world and more...and I know that the day I die will be the day I begin my life in eternity forever in his arms and in his joy...

You can contact me at tinno27@hotmail.com